Organising a marriage is stressful for the bride’s mother – Rosalind Ofeno

Mrs Rosalind Ofeno shares her experience with Woman’s Own about the ups and downs of being the mother of the bride. Excerpts… 

What were some of the challenges you encountered while planning the marriage? The whole idea is planning and it is not an easy one. You need someone with which you can put heads together. Putting it together is not an easy task. There are various sections within it, entertainment, output, it is a lot of things to discuss. You need to have an outline, like drawing a plan. Then you should have a wedding planner.

Rosalind and daughter Aside from having a wedding planner, what went into you ensuring the day was a success? Ideally, it is better if you have your money to hire somebody to handle everything because it is stressful. You also want to look at the menu. It is not an easy thing to do, but then, you need a caterer you should plan with. Sometimes it is easy to give people the money and say go and buy this or do this. At other times, it is better if you are managing your resources. Organising the marriage… The mother has to sit and buy everything. That is like liaising with the caterer about what you need and then organizing the people, where you want them to be, how to sit, how to dress, it is another area. A mother thinks about all these things and whether it will come out well? She has to look at the sitting arrangements on the side of the family and in-laws. The people have to be satisfied with what you are doing. How do you keep them happy? In most cases, the mother has to have a balancing act other wise you think you are doing it and yet you are not. If she gets help then she can cope with it. Right from the planning to the day of the wedding, she is under pressure in all areas. As the mother of the bride, you would have lots of sleepless nights on how it is going to come out and sometimes there is agitation. What steps did you take to ensure you did not do any last minute shopping? It depends on the flow of funds. If there is money, it is better you buy the things that you will cook down. It becomes a question of apportioning things. Otherwise you would run out of money at the critical stage. When you start to buy things early, you would discover you are covered. It also reduces a kind of tension to fall back on. It also helps if you have someone to assist you as a mother when shopping because it is something that will take all your time and strength. It is always better to get someone to help out instead of waiting till the 99th hour to go shopping. Some people may not know what to buy so it is advisable to liaise with the caterer. Throughout the planning and conclusion of the wedding, how did you feel as the mother of the bride? During the wedding, the mother of the bride never has time to witness the ceremony because she has to see that everything is in order. So your eyes are every where. But through everything I felt joy, fulfillment and satisfaction that the day turned out well.